Universal Couplings, yeah right!
by Juradai
Summary: Pointless one shot from a sleep deprived mind.  Tali proves she is a techie born and bred, while Adams shows that even old engineers like new tricks


Universal Couplings

Adams pulls his head out from in a panel near the drive core "Crap damn piece of crap" placing a minor coupling on the bench near Tali as he nods to Davey. "freaking sealants what are they using chicken gut! Or does some admiral's uncle own the manufacturer" Tali picks up the coupling and pulls out a small ringed seal and a tool from somewhere in her leg armour and starts twiddling with the equipment, all the while Adams is ranting. "for 20 freaking years I have been replacing one these little bastards somewhere at least every two weeks." Tali walks up the panel; kneels down replaces the coupling then the panel. She heads to the console for the that part of the power system and activates it. "general maintenance sure sign me up, fair wear and tear that happens, what the fuck is chasing us yep that's gunna hurt but every two weeks" Tali walks over to Adams console as he stalks around oblivious, waving his arms, stomping instead of walking, she places the tool on his bench along with several dozen seals and starts typing up instructions. "I am on the most advanced ship in space trying to inspire young minds to the wonders of advanced engineering and what do they have to look forward to… every two weeks for the rest of their lives, either replacing or getting some other poor bastard to replace these stupid pieces of shit."

Just as Tali finishes her typing and turns to talk to Adams, Davey walks in and seeing the power system functional "Boss if you had a coupling here and wanted a spare I could have gotten it later I was right in the middle of something and will have to start over."

"What the hell are you talking about." Fumes the chief of engineering

The frustrated young engineer takes a deep breathe before replying "look that system is up." Pointing at the display for the system

"I was just going to tell you Chief, I have a quick fix that little bosh'tet." Interrupts engineering's most recent and most talented addition.

"Tali if you're not serious, I will cry." The Chief's voice is full of real hope.

"Chief my first six months as an apprentice I spent running around replacing those on a 300 year old ship the size of a dreadnought, I had a trolley I did it every second Rannaday like the every apprentice before more for 200 years it took me 14 hours, so I studied what was wrong, ran some simulations on my solution, tested it on a redundant power system I hacked up in my families room, then every second Rannaday I spent 2 hours running around doing my fix and 12 hours hanging out with the journeymen learning stuff."

Adams runs to his console and starts reading "ok why only replace the seal five times does replacement of it cause damage?" obviously concerned that the quick fix isn't the best solution.

"no by that point it the housing should so signs of stress or damn near anyway so I just replace the whole thing I etch a mark each time I replace a seal and log it in a database"

"we call that mark a tally actually," chuckles the Chief "if you knew the fix why didn't you stop me ranting."

"its not the Quarian thing to do Chief we love watching a good rant… and Chief your very impressive I think you could stop a fire drill. I hope you take this the way it's intended… the arms thing, very Quarian"

"Thank you Tali next feel free to interrupt me."

"I will think about Chief." Tali says cheerfully

Davey whispers to his fellow apprentice "notice that wasn't a yes."

"Wait this is your tool."

"keep it, if I ever need one I can make it and after 6 months of hanging out with the crew father told me I had to take on other first year apprentice work not help out journeymen, now that tool is stock across the fleet. If I ever need one in a hurry I'll borrow one from another Quarian engineer."

"designed many tools for the fleet?"

"a dozen or so that standard issue for class b drive core vessels running a Turian designed 4th generation power system." She says in an offhand manner looking at her console. "I'll send you all the designs if you want to take a look at them"

…..

"Adams why are you staring at that thing with tears in your eyes." Asks Shepard who walks over to sit next to Adams who is having lunch and staring at some tool Shepard has never seen before.

"20 years, at least half of my life, every two weeks." he mutters to himself

"shit not the universal coupling speech, man I have heard this dozens of different times."

"and you found her." Adams blurts out not that Shepard has any clue what he means

"old man, if the couplings have finally sent of off the deep end, I can assign that job to maintenance."

"Don't you fucking dare look at this" and he uses the tool to replace the seal "good as new, less than 30 seconds and I can strap it to my arm, I am going to enjoy walking around this ship a lot more."

"what you can replace the seal that keeps breaking, I thought you said that it was too hard and too time consuming."

"yeah well this tool of Tali's removes and replaces the damn thing without even a scratch."

"Adams, Quarians have so little wealth.. you better compensate her well for that tool."

"she not only made herself, she _**designed**_ it when she was an apprentice, she is a godsend." Responds Adams with true admiration clear in his voice.

"shit, she invented a method that cuts down on lugging boxes those things around a ship and replacing them when she was an apprentice? dude she started her apprenticeship at 13."

"she sent me the designs and others, I have an offer from Whitworths for 20k for this one, but I haven't told her yet."

"tell them I will do an ad, I'll pull one out of a housing in me leg armour and everything, then let's see what they say."

…..

Adams greets Tali as she enters the conference room to see Adams and Shepard sitting and the table in the centre of the room, not a common sight "Tali I am glad you here."

"um commander am have I done something wrong?" She is obviously unsure what is going on afterall her Captain and the Cheif aren't very formal, to say the least.

"no Tali not at all, I have a contract I would like you to read."

Tali looks at the contract displayed on a holo"Shepard this is 50 thousand credits for that tool" she points at the tool on the conference table whilst reading the contract "and another 150 for the others I showed Adams."

Adams proudly advises his latest and favourite engineer 'yeah they are doing a time saving line of tools, they are call them the TZ Time Savers, they will probably make a fortune the logo is your initials overlaying each other in Quarian script."

Knowing her reaction to favouritism and help with her pilgrimage, Shepard makes sure his tone is soft and supportive "Tali if you want to shop around for a better deal that is fine, I had my lawyers go over the contract." _Hope she doesn't realise that contract is between her and my company and that I have already sold the damn things. _Knowing that she will of course accept the contract and not even read it, after all her _Captain_ organised it, he knows that is more than enough for his favourite Quarian. 

"this is fantastic Shepard. I never even thought of selling the designs I am sure I couldn't find a better deal than this how did you manage it." Tali signs the contract, stunned at the size of the offer.

Shepard "Tali this company has an Alliance contract for these tools, I have already done the ads, gotten the Alliance its discount, and earned a cool 90k myself in commission from everyone but you."

Adams starts laughing "you should have seen the ads" pointing at the commander "this one standing in full armour in front of CGI'd drive core, pulls that tool out of his leg armour and replaces the seal like he does it every day." He burst in a full belly a laugh and needs a moment to continue, wiping a pretend tear from his eye "this one working on a drive core, If they only knew the truth."

Tali joins in with the mocking of her captain "well if we wanted to blow up a drive core I couldn't recommend anyone better than Shepard."

"connecting you now commander" a voice says over the comms

Ignoring his subordinate's mockery Shepard confidently addresses the figure that appears on the holo "Admiral Zorah so nice to see you again."

"Shepard how is that I get a message from the VI monitoring my daughter's account saying it has just received a 200 thousand credits and not 30 seconds later a call arrives from you."

Tali interrupts stunned "Shepard the money has been transferred already?"

Answering Tali before speaking to her father "I have people, they do things quick."Turning his head towards the Vid camera for the holo suite "I think you need to know Admiral humans like their spare time… a _**lot.**_ Time saving stuff is something we are willing to pay through the nose for. The tools that Tali designed are where that 200 came from."

"you did ads Shepard that's why they paid so much." Admits Tali

"I made money too, you know and my actual time spent doing stuff was like an hour all up no big deal, like I said I have people. I have to _**fund**_ this mission"

The selfless young woman again interrupts her commander's discussion with her father. Something that she would have never done before meeting Shepard. "That's a good point Shepard you should have the money for the mission." She fails to notice her father's head tilt, he has noticed the change is his daughter, he can also tell from her posture that her Captain is the reason for the increase in confidence. He also notices that she calls him Shepard, a slightly concerned frown appears on his forehead, not that anyone can see it.

"no on two points. It's yours, all the engineers think you should have it, just for shutting up Adams' bitching, and help a friend earn money as a Spectre I can do, I cannot accept cash from the daughter of an Admiral of a non-council race."

"he is right Tali the Council certainly wouldn't want us paying one their Spectres. So Shepard you called to brag again."

"yeah and to let you know the money isn't a banking error."


End file.
